OM BLOGGAREN
Namn
Lazandrita

Är från
Panama

Citat om mig
Once you go latina, you never go albina

Varför Kingsize?
Namnet säger allt! Den enda rätta sajten om man gillar hiphop,stora rumpor, gossip och bloggar om 6, relationer och annat skönt.

Glömt en sexleksak i vaginan…

Jag älskar folk.
Får en själv att framstå som helt jävla normal med tanke på egna incidenter i detta ämne…

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“Kära La Zandrita show….”

När man får konstiga sms….. ;)

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E din snubbe otrogen?

Här har du svaret på att han döljer en jävla massa i alla fall..

#baxadfrånebbesinsta

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Besök hos gynkärringen…

Idag var det dags att fixa nytt recept för p-ring (ett preventivmedel, typ som p-piller fast bättre). Jag slår mig ner inne på gyn-kontoret med Ulla, hon tittar på mig och säger:

-Jaaaaaaadu Zandra….. Du är 35 år nu….
SÅ NÄR HADE DU TÄNKT ATT SKAFFA BARN?

 

Jag hade sekunden innan jag klev in på hennes kontor planerat att ikväll svepa några vodka/redbull på vår gård med min vän…
Jag tittar på Ulla och säger:
-Jaaaaaaadu Ulla, jag är väl medveten om att jag är 35 år. Jag vet att jag någon gång troligtvis vill ha barn MEN jag är inte där än mentalt!

 

 

Ulla tittar på mig, gör konstiga miner och säger:
-Som sagt, din tid är snart förbi… Då är det för sent. Du är för gammal snart!

 

 

Jag (som har lyssnat så samma tjat de senaste 5 åren…):
-Ge mig bara ett jävla recept på P-ring nu så att jag slipper bli gravid!

 

 

Ulla:
-Näääähää, du e för gammal för p-ring! Risken för blodpropp ökar markant när man är över 35 år så det går inte.

 

 

Jag:
-Okej men eftersom mitt liv snart verkar vara över så kan väl du ge mig nåt jäkla preventivmedel som funkar på oss pensionärer.

 

 

Ulla:
-Jag skriver ut ett recept till dig på minipiller men jag tycker att du ska ta en ordentlig funderare på barn…

 

 

Jag tar några djupa andetag, sväljer mitt egna saliv och säger:
-Jag har PMS Ulla, en allvarlig sådan. Ge mig bara receptet nu så att jag kan åka hem och kn#lla UTAN att bli gravid.

 

 

 

 


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3 HYFSAT SKÖNA LIGG-LÅTAR!

#FUCKSONGZ

 

 


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Samtal med 18-årig tjej idag… #dagensungdom

JAG:
-Berätta, hur gick det med den där snuten du dejtade?

 

18-ÅRING:
-Hahaha! Shiet.

 

JAG:
-Berätta!

 

 

18-ÅRING:
-Asså vi träffades ett tag, vi gillade varandra som fan…
Sen vi bazz och han hade FETT liten k*k så jag taggade därifrån och dissade han heeeelt efter det. Kan ju inte ligga med en snut som dessutom har liten!

 

 

JAG:
-Aaaaa, jag fattar. Neeeeeee, såklart inte.

 

 

#dagensungdomvetvaddomvillhaochvaddomintevillha #vårframtid #sverigeärrräddat #coknice #yallabye

 

 


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LÄNGE LEVE ISON & FILLE!

Jag säger det igen. Jag är inte så mycket för svensk hiphop men MASHALLAH säger jag till denna video. Låten har jag spelat sen den ramlade in på Spotify.

 

OCH måste fan säga att den där Fille har typ Sveriges sexigaste rap-röst.


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Lite sccchöna sommarlåtar…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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“How 2 eat pussy”

Hittade denna LÅNGA text på nätet som jag tänkte dela med mig av. Om ni orkar att läsa igenom texten så kommer ni garanterat att lära er ett och annat men glöm inte att “gillar olika”…

 

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This article is an anonymous contribution. We want to send out a big thanks to the original authors of this masterpiece. Much love from the MyTinySecrets Team.
“When a woman finds a man who gives good head, she’s found a treasure she’s not going to let go of too quickly. This is one rare customer and she knows it. She won’t even tell her girlfriends about it or that guy will become the most popular man in town”

 

 

Hey, I have a lot of respect for all you guys who like to eat pussy because there are too few of you out there. And I’m not the only woman who says this. Furthermore, some of you guys who are giving it the old college try are not doing too well, so maybe this little lesson will help you out.

 

When a woman finds a man who gives good head, she’s found a treasure she’s not going to let go of too quickly. This is one rare customer and she knows it. She won’t even tell her girlfriends about it or that guy will become the most popular man in town. So, remember, most guys can fuck, and those who can usually do it satisfactorily, but the guy who gives good head, he’s got it made.

 

 

The Pussy-Licking-Guide for evolved people in 15 magical steps

#1: Tell her she is beautiful and mean it.

Most women are shy about their bodies. Even if you’ve got the world’s most gorgeous woman in bed with you, she’s going to worry about how you like her body. Tell her it’s beautiful, tell her which parts you like best, tell her anything, but get her to trust you enough to let you down between her legs.

#2 Stop and appreciate her unique flower

Now stop and look at what you see. Beautiful, isn’t it? There is nothing that makes a woman more unique than her pussy. I know. I’ve seen plenty of them. They come in all different sizes, colors and shapes; some are tucked inside like a little girl’s cunnie and some have thick luscious lips that come out to greet you. Some are nested in brushes of fur and others are covered with transparent fuzz. Appreciate your woman’s unique qualities and tell her what makes her special.

#3 Women are more verbal: Talk to her beautiful pussy

Women are a good deal more verbal than men, especially during love-making. They also respond more to verbal love, which means, the more you talk to her, the easier it will be to get her off. So all the time you’re petting and stroking her beautiful pussy, talk to her about it.

#4 Lick her outer lips, inner lips and find her clit

Now look at it again. Gently pull the lips apart and look at her inner lips, even lick them if you want to. Now spread the tops of her pussy up until you can find her clit. Women have clits in all different sizes, just like you guys have different sized cocks. It doesn’t mean a thing as far as her capacity for orgasm. All it means is more of her is hidden underneath her foreskin.

#5 Whenever you touch a woman’s pussy, make sure your finger is wet

Whenever you touch a woman’s pussy, make sure your finger is wet. You can lick it or moisten it with juices from inside her. Be sure, by all means, to wet it before you touch her clit because it doesn’t have any juices of it’s own and it’s extremely sensitive. Your finger will stick to it if it’s dry and that hurts. But you don’t want to touch her clit anyway. You have to work up to that. Before she becomes aroused, her clit is too delicate to be handled.

#6 Tease her & approach her pussy slowly

Approach her pussy slowly. Women, even more so than men, love to be teased. The inner part of her thigh is her most tender spot. Lick it, kiss it, make designs on it with the tip of your tongue. Come dangerously close to her pussy, then float away. Make her anticipate it.

#7 Play with her

Now lick the crease where her leg joins her pussy. Nuzzle your face into her bush. Brush your lips over her slit without pressing down on it to further excite her. After you’ve done this to the point where your lady is bucking up from her seat and she’s straining to get more of you closer to her, then put your lips right on top of her slit.

#8 Kiss her, gently, then harder

Kiss her, gently, then harder. Now use your tongue to separate her pussy lips and when she opens up, run your tongue up and down between the layers of pussy flesh. Gently spread her legs more with your hands. Everything you do with a woman you’re about to eat must be done gently.

#9 Tongue-fuck her

Tongue-fuck her. This feels divine. It also teases the hell out of her because by now she wants some attention given to her clit. Check it out. See if her clit has gotten hard enough to peek out of it’s covering. If so, lick it. If you can’t see it, it might still be waiting for you underneath. So bring your tongue up the top of her slit and feel for her clit. You may barely experience it’s presence. But even if you can’t feel the tiny pearl, you can make it rise by licking the skin that covers it. Lick hard now and press into her skin.

#10 Work her tip of the iceberg

Gently pull the pussy lips away and flick your tongue against the clit, hood covered or not. Do this quickly. This should cause her legs to shudder. When you sense she’s getting up there toward orgasm, make your lips into an O and take the clit into your mouth.

“Start to suck gently and watch your lady’s face for her reaction. If she can handle it, begin to suck harder. If she digs it, suck even harder. Go with her. If she lifts her pelvis into the air with the tension of her rising orgasm, move with her, don’t fight her. Hang on, and keep your hot mouth on her clit. Don’t let go. That’s what she’ll be saying too: ‘Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop!’”

 

 

There’s a reason for that, most men stop too soon. Just like with cock sucking, this is something worth learning about and worth learning to do well. I know a man who’s a lousy fuck, simply lousy, but he can eat pussy like nobody I know and he never has trouble getting a date. Girls are falling all over him.

#11 Finger-fuck her with TWO fingers

But back to your pussy eating session…There’s another thing you can do to intensify your woman’s pleasure. You can finger-fuck her while she’s enjoying your clit-licking talents. Before, during or after. She’ll really like it. In addition to the erogenous zones surrounding her clit, a woman has another extremely sensitive area at the roof of her vagina. This is what you rub up against when you’re fucking her. Well, since your cock is pretty far away from your mouth, your fingers will have to do the fucking.

“Take two fingers. One is too skinny and three is too wide and therefore can’t get deep enough. Make sure they’re wet so you don’t irritate her skin. Slide them inside, slowly at first, then a little faster. Fuck her with them rhythmically. Speed up only when she does. Listen to her breathing.”

 

 

She’ll let you know what to do. If you’re sucking her clit and finger-fucking her at the same time, you’re giving her far more stimulation than you would be giving her with your cock alone. So you can count on it that she’s getting high on this. If there’s any doubt, check her out for symptoms.

#12 Get to know her orgasmic symptoms to become even better

Each woman is unique.

  • You may have one who’s nipples get hard when she’s excited
  • or only when she’s having an orgasm.
  • Your girl might flush red or
  • begin to tremble.

Get to know her symptoms and you’ll be a more sensitive lover.

#13 Don’t let go of her clit when she starts to orgasm – The Multi-Orgasmic Woman

When she starts to have an orgasm, for heaven’s sakes, don’t let go of that clit. Hang in there for the duration. When she starts to come down from the first orgasm, press your tongue along the underside of the clit, leaving your lips covering the top. Move your tongue in and out of her cunt. If your fingers are inside, move them a little too, gently though, things are extremely sensitive just now.

“If you play your cards right, you’ll get some multiple orgasms this way. A woman stays excited for a full hour after she’s had an orgasm. Do you realize the full impact of that information? The potential? One woman was clocked at 56 orgasms at one sitting. Do you know what effect you would have on a woman you gave 56 orgasms to? She’d be yours as long as you wanted her.”

 

 

#14 The cherry on the cake

Some women like to have their man rub and enter their anal section with their finger while they are being eaten out!

#15 After the orgasmic wave: Keep making love to her quietly

The last advice I have for you is this: After you’ve made her come, made her your slave by giving her the best head she’s ever had, don’t leave her alone just yet. Talk to her, stroke her body, caress her breasts. Keep making love to her quietly until she’s come all the way down. A man can get off and go to sleep in the same breath and feel no remorse, no sense of loss. But a woman by nature requires some sensitivity from her lover in those first few moments after sex.

“Oral sex can be the most exciting sexual experiences you can have. But it’s what you make it. Take your time, practice often, pay attention to your lover’s signals, and most of all, enjoy yourself.”

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Roliga sexakter…….. #minnen

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